Tuesday, April 1, 2008

An Attempt at Clarity

April 1st. Usually a time of mischief, especially when you have young children learning about "April Fool's Day!" and when you teach freshmen! However, I am starting new with this first day of April. Ha! How many times have I said that? No, that was rhetorical-don't go back and count! I guess the important thing is that I keep trying, not how many times I have to . . .keep trying.

A couple of months ago, Kath was diagnosed with CP. One lonely, scary night I found a blog from a woman with a child who has CP-her daughter was 17 months-old (at that point 2 months older than Kath). What I didn't realize until I started to read was that the journal part that I was reading was about 2 years old. So, I was able to read as this girl progressed. I was able to follow her growth and then even email her mom and ask some questions! I found such comfort in that.

A couple of months ago I seemed to have stopped writing. I had no energy for any 'me' stuff, only work with Kath, play with Al, keep in the loop with the boys and of course help Rog deal with his head boo-boo after his accident. My school stuff swayed to the back as well as my writing.

Breathing was an accomplishment. Not even housework seemed to get done (yuck anyway). All my energy was geared to keeping an appearance of calmness and control.

Yeah, well.

I am pulling together all of this to get to a point. On the writer's forum I made my goal of writing more and staying focused. I am going to use this blog to rework and hone my writing voice. To keep a journal of our fight with CP for Kath and for any other mom who might be awake one night feeling completely scared and overwhelmed. To organize my thoughts and to hold myself accountable to . . . myself.

I also hope that in this endeavor I see more accomplishments of mine as opposed to the list that never seems to go away with uncrossed out items.

Have to run, Kath is practicing flinging herself off the picnic table. No-oo . . . she is trying to climb and sit with finesse, which only LOOKS like she is throwing herself off. Ah, kids and April Fool's Day.

3 comments:

Madelyn said...

So, like Kath, you're flinging yourself off your picnic table and getting back on. Over and over. With finesse. Good for you! I know you'll get there - no matter how many detours along the way, you'll write, bits when you can, more when you can, and one day you'll have all the time in the world for it! And I'll be first on line for a signed first copy of your first book!

Great Aunt Eye said...

Gee! I hope I am still breathing when the book finally comes out! Remember my aging process seems to be running along with Father Time!

Great Aunt Eye said...

I see it shows Great aunt eye from writting on Chris's blog!