Saturday, May 14, 2011

I've decided there really is no way to catch up once you fall behind...

I'm now convinced that there really is no way to catch up, it is just a matter of prioritizing. Maybe if I didn't feel the need to live my life in ALL the areas that interest would be easier. Maybe.

I will try to get back into a rhythm of writing and updating. The days just seem to be flying by. I started a few posts awhile ago...I might revamp/edit and send those out in the next few days, even though they are old.

Take a look at this week...Nick's birthday. He had to work on Thursday, and I had a writing group meeting where I had to present a lesson to fellow colleagues. So on Friday after school we went to Cracker Barrel (his choice) for dinner, then Stewarts for ice cream.

Saturday Roger woke me and told me about a Pitchapolooza (a special event where you 'pitch' your story idea. 25 randomly chosen writers have one minute to tell their story and win a meeting with an agent). I spent a few hours getting my pitch together, interrupted by Kath stepping on a mirror she was cleaning (we use it for therapy, to remind her that she has two sides of her body). We worked for an hour to make sure she was fine, all glass recovered, including a soaking bath. She is fine.
Thank goodness.

After the Pitchapolooza (I wasn't chosen, but learned tons about how I have to think to try to sell my story.) Then the girls and I ran straight to Target to get a birthday present for a party for Kath at a play museum an hour away. We ended up not having time to go home to get dressed so I bought new outfits for them then and there. The party was a lot of fun, even though all the kids play separately. Mostly due to their individual disabilities. I got to spend time with parents who truly notice and live in the world of small, wonderful steps forward, with a waltz occasionally backwards, sideways and such. Bittersweet. Then home.

Sadness overshaddowed the day because I found out that a fellow hemi/ stroke survivor family had lost their son. Eric went in for surgery to help control his seizures, but he seized while in surgery and suffered catastrophic injury to the other side of his brain. He died yesterday afternoon.

Our day today was centered around another birthday party as well as sandal shopping and food shopping. A good day.

Here is an excerpt from a facebook note I wrote:
"Today (Saturday) slammed me once again with the realization that our loved ones are truly gifts, and so is our time here. I mourn with Kelli for her loss and I am frightened by the specter of fear that Eric's events now mean for us and Kath's friends with similar stroke issues. The fact that Kath so thoughtlessly stepped on glass worries me. The idea that I was brave enough to go to that event and ready to stand before strangers and tell them about the story that means so much to me (even if I didn't really get the opportunity to strut my stuff!), shows me I'm ready to step out and bravely stand up for myself (not just my kids ;)).

My worlds all converged today and it wore me out, but it reinforced how grateful I am to be where I am, to be surrounded by those who stuck with me during such really, incredibly horrible times, and who are with me now still. I am grateful for the calmness between the storms and the friends who stand with me in the downpours, and laugh with me during it all, knowing if we don't grab onto the small joys as hard we do on the big, we won't be able to hold our breaths long enough to get through the storms.

My heart breaks with Eric's family. And I will pray for them and for their healing. I will also hug tighter and longer; sit and drink tea with my hubby and try to laugh more; seek out my friends to just hang and regroup; read; and especially write since that is how I seem to be able to make the most sense of this life when it really doesn't seem fair, right or just."

Well, before life gets in the way I will send this to post and probably revisit and edit it another 50 times later. :)