So . . .yesterday Katharina had her first OT appointment with Laurie and Kath was her usual charming self. She does this cute scrunchy-face smile that Nick used to do. She was exhausted by the time it was over; she worked hard extracting herself from couch cushions, pulling apart interlocking toys and assorted other games. She does really well with new people, especially if Alex is around (and Robin or me).
Today began with Roger taking off from school to take Chris to the oral surgeon. He had ALL FOUR wisdom teeth pulled! I thought they only did one side at a time so that eating could resume . . .I thought wrong. He had IV sedation and doesn't remember telling Roger "I like IV." Goofball. He is in pain but we are alternating the medicine so that hopefully will be contained quickly.
Meanwhile at almost the same time--Kath had her hearing test at Albany Med. The audiologist loved her and worked really hard to get good info (I am sure she always works hard-not just for those she likes). She heard tones I was not quite sure I heard. She moved her head in the correct direction each time. The earphones were put in her ears next and she did great for that as well. Then she had a test for other parts of her ear/hearing and did well until the end when she was tired and wiggling, so the machine kept resetting. But Leslie, the audiologist, was so impressed with how well-behaved Kath was anyway. Alex of course was the fantastic big sister/mom helper she always is. Kath's hearing is all within normal ranges, as far as they can test with her age and wiggliness. I have been so impressed by the people I have met on this journey and this lady was another wonderful soul.
After this I decided to finally take care of the blood work for stroke indicators. I miswrote last time when I said that Dr. Foster wrote the script-he authorized it but Dr Schottler (ped) was the actually writer. The script was FULL of tests. They needed 19 mls of blood! After they took the needle out the first time, I assumed they were done. But, alas, no. (I guess they had trouble with the spot and that is why they took the needle out.) They said they needed 15 more mls. I asked how many they took with the first needle and they said 4. I almost started to cry. I asked if we could come back and finish another day, but they said it had to be sent out the same day/shipment. Ugh. So this time they worked on taking it out of her hand. She screamed, but it was mostly anger, although when they had to reposition to rebleed it, it was from pain. She was a trooper and was asleep before we were out of Albany.
Wish I could have been too.
She is starting to bruise up though. She doesn't seem to have the same pain sensors, but that will be a writing for another time.
I have been putting this bloodwork off because I am an idiot. Because I felt as though 1) the reason she had a stroke was due to me and since she is not in utero anymore, then she couldn't possibly have another stroke; 2) I was/am so overwhelemed I didn't think I could handle anything else (as if having the test means she will have one); 3) I am afraid of what the tests will tell me. And afraid I can't deal . . .with one more thing.
While waiting to get the test there was this little girl and her family in the lab waiting room. They asked me a ton of questions about Kath and told me their daughter who was the size of a 9 month old-and running around--was actually 2 and just very tiny. She was getting tested to see what was up. The mom -who I never saw before- told me that I was a good mom for taking care and making sure I was doing everything I could to help Kath. Mind you, I was near tears the whole day. I didn't admit to her that I held this script in my pocketbook for a month and that I was petrified of having it done. But from where ever this woman got her strength and however she shared it--I thank God. Little rains of grace at times of fragility. It gave me the strength to stay put (and not delay it anymore), to hold and sing to Kath, to not cry, to try healing intentions, to breathe. I hope I somehow gave that woman something, but I doubt it. Maybe the next time I will be the strength when someone else needs it.
On my way home, I had to drop my car off at the shop AGAIN. The last time they got the wrong part--we have been going crazy with this for the last two weeks, at least. First they didn't know why the car was there--even though I had spoken with someone the week before and requested an appointment AND left a note in the car. Next day they didn't have my number . . .once again on the note. Then wrong part. Then no part. Now hopefully tomorrow will end it-they will fix it and we will be set. This place has been great in the past, so I think this is just bad timing. My stress is so high with the end of year and all Kath's stuff and then Roger signing up for retreats and classes even though I asked for peace this summer and house projects to be worked on. Continued money concerns. Worrying about financial aid for the boys for school. Grandpa in the hospital. Dad having treatment. Yada yada yada. So although a car is stupid in the grand scheme of Life, it is one more stressor in a stressed out person's life. :-)
Tonight . . .Kath decided to start WALKING BACKWARDS. As if watching her negotiate walking fowards isn't harrowing enough, now she is walking backwards and laughing with glee as she does it. How this girl trips LESS going backwards is beyond me. Ah. :-)
I have been trying to write more this week. I have worked on my story some and I need a lot more time with it, but it is going. I am also trying to read-I have a couple of books Maddy lent me and a couple from the libe on Kath stuff and homeschooling. I also have some classic lit books that I feel I must read, though it would be much better for me . . .if I didn't KEEP FALLING ASLEEP each time I started to read Ivanhoe!!! Although this year is not quite over I have been getting excited thoughts of ideas to teach for next year. I guess when that stops happening I will know it is time to leave teaching.
Alex told me when I tucked her in that 1-she will remember me for ever (not sure what she knows . . .but I told her that was good anyway ;-)); and 2- she will miss me when she is 'growd up' (I told her not to worry, she could build her house on our property, so I could hang out all the time with my grandkids and I could still cuddle with her. She corrected me--'snuggle, momma.')
She came down this morning 'All dressed. I wanted to try something new!' She was wearing red socks, purple stretch pants that were too short for her, a blue princess shirt with a her white tank t-shirt ON TOP of it. Ah, this girl is such a little fashion bug. And in case you are wondering . . .no, I did not allow her to wear that to the hospital today. She has the confidence for it, I do not. :-) Anyway, she spilled yogart on it. :-)
Love my crazy life. Love my crazy family.
PS. The death of Tim Russert is such a sad marker. What a wonderful human being we are now deprived of; a good man, great father and critical thinking journalist. When the world loses such a deep souled person, it seems only right that the rest of us step up our game to try to help the make up for the loss. To keep the world on its correct spin.