If you haven't hung around a 4 year-old in a while...

I strongly suggest it. As long as your intentions are pure.

Have you ever heard the squeal of a child who is watching a slug inch its way across the pavement and when she accidentally touches it she says it felt like a kiss--wet and squeeshy? I never would think of describing it like that...but she does not yet have the prejudices of 'good' and 'bad' bugs or whatever species they are. All bugs are kinda cool to Kath..except the ones that bite..oh and ants (we've had our fair share of those buggers this year).

"This paper makes me smile; it's fun to write on!" "Why did he say he hated her?" "I playing." "I love you."

How about when a four year old grumbles? That is pretty hilarious. "Grrrrr, where is the garbage pail?!" I moved the garbage pail to a new post in the laundry room yesterday, but since I'm on a cleaning rant it has been following me room to room. So it moved to the front of the pantry and craft area with me today. She looked at me, eyes flashing, "You need to move that back!" She didn't like going to the pail's new spot and finding it gone. She likes things in their spot, even if that spot is only one day old. She especially finds a value to things being put where they belong if she is trying to FIND that object, not necessarily when she is putting that object AWAY herself.

Or how about when they exclaim "Dammit!"? Roger doesn't think it's funny, but of course I think it is. No, I don't want my kids to be cursers, but Kath actually uses the word correctly...when she is extremely frustrated. Yesterday she even had Roger laughing. He asked if she was ready for her second book (at bedtime). She told him, "I have no underwear on!" (How he, who got her ready for bed, wasn't aware of this---I have NO IDEA, but it may help to explain the high level of frustration I have some days and then the shrugging and 'whatever-mode' I alternate between--I cannot make up this insanity.) So Roger told her she had to go get her panties, she left them in the bathroom. She heaved herself up, grumbling, "Dammit!" as she went.

Oh, and as for feeding the animals. Whether it is the birds outside, or the cat, dog or fish inside it is a major production. If we spell C-O-O-K-I-E, Bucca (our Staffordshire Terrier, aka pit bull) goes nuts and tramples (in comedic form) whomever is so kind (crazy) to attempt to get her a dog treat. Moran (our feral, no-longer-quite-so-wild cat) will weave between anyone's legs when she is trying to coax you to the food and bowl. The birds outside will 'yell' at us if we forget to feed them. They sit at the feeder or on the deck and squawk, staring in the windows, until I grab the food and fill the feeder. The squirrels will help themselves if the birdseed is accessible--which it IS to anyone who can chew through plastic containers. The fish...the aquarium is up and running and we finally have Alex's favorite fish, the pleka AKA the sucker fish. The girls fight over who gets to feed the fish and who gets to feed the sucker. However, no one fights over cleaning the tank or the kitty litter box.

I love the sounds of my two little girls playing in the playroom. Amazingly cool. I love when they play 'family' and 'the mom' sounds so kind and loving. (Whew! :D) And I love when they play school and say how much they love to learn. I love the spontaneous concerts of songs sung at the tops of their lungs, I've missed that while Miss Alex heals. I love too how Kath will just sit down and play with playdo, imagine sandy worlds in the indoor sandbox or find fun books to look at. And how much Alex loves to read and write and draw. Alex's healing from getting her tonsils and adenoids removed has been slower than we hoped but she's starting to play more, a sure sign of recovery.

"I found the book we jump in!!!" (It was Winnie-the-Pooh, Kath saw the movie coming attractions where Christopher Robin jumps into the book.) "I had a dream a penguin came home!" "Hold me, I had a bad dream."

My, how little kids love with their whole being! "You are the best mommy in the whole world!" That's something I hear daily from my 4 and 7 year-olds, but rarely from my 22 and 23 year-olds. :) Not that they don't think it (haha) but once we become adults we don't tend to GUSH our love so openly and unconditionally.

When people say to me..."You were almost 'done.' Why were you so crazy as to have more kids when the boys were almost out of the house?" I say and I mean it--now more than ever: Because I never want my house to be empty of little voices that belly laugh, point out how clever slugs are, or how amazing sucker fish are. I never want to forget how wonderful the lens is which kids look at life, unprejudiced by the things adults allow to fog up their life's windshields. Because when I sit and talk to my little girls I see what really matters and I breathe a whole different air than I do otherwise. The only other time I get to feel that way is when I write, when I try to recreate those worlds where a person can just jump in and get absorbed by a book, like Christopher Robin.

I want to be the one who has playdo in my nails, crayons in my pocketbook and a sandbox in my foyer...forever. I want to be the person who watches that sucker fish wiggle around and says, "Hey! Look at that guy!" I want to be the life experienced 43 year-old woman I am with the perspective, optimism and love of a 4 year-old and the wisdom, kindness and appreciation of a 7 year-old.

This is my new life goal.