My last post was almost a year ago...and I made myself a promise that I did not keep. I was going to write....
I recently finished a book my son Chris suggested called How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. It was about more than cleaning, it was about how we approach some of the things we struggle with starting and doing. Well, that was one of the things I got out of it. And it made me feel...emotional...and forgiven...if that makes any sense. If you ever look at pictures with my house in the background from me over the years there are various levels of chaos and clutter, and since I always felt like I had to finish the cleaning before I could write...and well, I could NEVER finish the cleaning or all the items on The List, I didn't accomplish. Honestly, I did not have the bandwidth for anything more than survival either.
I'm not saying that I have more bandwidth, or that I have figured myself out in any magnificent way that will unblock myself and enable me more 'freedom' to dillydally or discipline with focus, my writing, but I am not willing to give up on my dream of writing something meaningful. So I will keep restarting and restarting. When I returned to school as a mom, taking classes as one of the oldest members of every class, I had a family member make a comment about how I would be in my 40s before I graduated. I turned out to be much younger by the time I graduated from undergraduate school, I was 27. But I still needed a job and a Masters. Somehow I persevered and landed with the best job, an English high school teacher, in the district I love in.
So now that I am 55 and I still have a dream outstanding...now what? Can I find the grit that kept me going through raising the boys, through a divorce, through late nights, through a small support system? I'm going to find out.
What do I want to write? To start? This blog. I want to write about Kath's health issues. I promise to leave my other kids alone, and only write what Kath is willing to share. She is 16 now and has her own identity and her own story to write, maybe I can ask to be a guest blogger! I want to write a young adult fantasy story. I want to write a children's book. I want to write a book that might possible help someone going through life...hmm...a child with health issues and seizures? Teaching in a post-covid, anti-public education time? Being 55/older woman who wants to fight for justice but seems so very worn down? A book I would want to read.
Where do I put all this? Let's start here, with this blog and let's see where it takes me. I began this blog because I thought it would be a road map of sorts to show my 'start' in writing...but then Kath was diagnosed and it became a mish mash of things. Let the mish mash continue as I Attempt to Find Clarity.
VSG